Happy Tihar!!!

Preface to this blog post: I am up in the kitchen this morning after lunch (remember, that is at 9am here) with Priyanka and we are sneaking around trying to find more cookies and as I open the cabinet, the handle comes off right into my hands. So we try to screw it back in so we don't get caught. Naturally we couldn't get it, so we just left it hanging on the screws (it basically looked fixed, but it wasn't).

Today is the 4th day of Tihar, the Nepali festival of Lights. Fans of the Office might recall the Diwali episode--this is Nepal's version of that. Tomorrow is the 5th and final day (Bhai Tika day) where all the festival-ing goes down. We've been spending all day preparing for tomorrow. Everyone has their house decorated with lights a la Christmas in the States. Jasmin made yarn wicks out of cotton with red chalk at the end so that we can burn oil lights with red flames tomorrow. All afternoon everyone has been in the kitchen making special Roti for the festival. Roti is my faaaavorite. It's bread made from rice flour that is really thin and crispy and yummy. It's the most complicated process I have ever seen. They mix the dough and knead it for a while and then they pad it out thin and rub a coat of this thick sugar paste on it. Then they roll it up like a cinnamon roll and cut it in to small circles. Then they take the small circles and flatten them out into little rectangles that they place on top of eachother.en they fry each one individually and all the layers come apart. Intense. But tasty. So as we are doing this, Jasmin tells Binod to get the rolling pin out of the cabinet. He goes in to whip open the cabinet door, the handle goes flying with him attached to it and he lands straight into a bowl of flour. His mother was less than thrilled. Priyanka and I just looked at eachother and as she brought her finger to her lips we started cracking up. Whoops. I'm current seeking asylum in the tv room. I've got Shwayze playing and Binod is jamming out. He would make a pretty good rapper. If he wiped all that flour off his face he could easily pass for a gangster black kid.

Late Update: I was just informed that tomorrow morning a bunch of people will come over for food and balleeeeee which apparently means dance. They asked me if I danced in big groups and the conversation progressed into me teaching the family to Crank That. Priyanka is the best Soulja Boy ever. You should have seen how she threw her hands in the ayer. Ok, I'm off to go decorate the house.

What did I do today...

I struggled with the internet for hours.




Ok but really... we went to go see an old friend of Min's, Raj Endre, he is a member party, of the Constituent Assembly (Nepal's parliament). He wanted to make it very clear, however, that he was not part of the Maoist party but of the UML party (the Leftist party). They spoke the whole time Nepalese so I didn't follow it. Instead I stared past them and watched a documentary on the Governator. It was truly riveting. Did you know that Arnold has many ties to the Nazi party in Austria? Hah. But basically the discussion with Raj revolved around a plan to build a hydropower plant in the disrict in order to supply energy (we are currently sitting in the dark for the 3rd night this week) and to supply jobs... also riveting stuff.

That is about all I got for ya today.
Have a good Saturday. Mine was pretty cool...
Hasta la vista. I'll be back.

In Case You Want To Send Me Presents

Here is my address:
Alicia Harmon c/o Min Shahi
Rato Bangala School
Patan Dhoka Latipur, Nepal
PO Box 202

TGI Buzzed

Ooh how the mighty have fallen. Since it is Friday (yay) we decided to have a little "party." By that, basically, we had some beer with dinner. And I drank one and a half and was basically plastered. Yes, I, esteem title holder of Flip Cup Champion of the World, Keg Stander extroidinaire, Chugmaster Harmon, was unable to finish a SECOND beer without slurring her words. My first thoughts were "Wow. One month without drinking and check me out." Then I realized it has not nearly been a month. Nay, it has been allllmost 2 weeks. Two weeks tomorrow, I believe, except that it is Friday morning in the US right now so it is 48 hours short of 2 weeks. Pathetic.
But that got me thinking. Last Friday I was here. But where have I been the Fridays before that? Here is a list of Friday in the the World of Alicia:
Last Friday: Kathmandu Two Fridays Ago: High as a kite with Gabe's friends watching Knocked up (awwwwkward). Three Fridays Ago: Boulder for homecoming, @ the Attic having a merry ol' time. Four Fridays ago: Driving through Virginia (the LONGEST state in the Union to drive through) on my way to NYC. Five Fridays Ago: Hah, like I remember life over a month ago, probably sitting around eating cookies, possibly after a long day of working. Six Fridays Ago: Uhh, NYC? Boulder? Who's to say?
But seriously- how time does fly! I can't believe that in a month from now all those Fridays will have been so long ago. And all the other Fridays in my life! And a year from now it will have been 52 Fridays ago that I got drunk off a single beer.
So, my fellow blog-reading minions, think about where you were 52 Fridays ago. I was at the Taj *tear.

PICTURES

Thanks, Jaime.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2322352&l=b528a&id=10218477

God I miss cheese...

Have you ever heard the question, "What would you rather give up: Chocolate or cheese?" I've always said that was a ridiculous, terrible question. Hung jury. You could put a gun to my head and I would still answer "Chococheeeeeeese!" But, it seems, I have forced the answer upon myself. We have neither. I actually went out and bought a GINORMOUS Toblerone bar the other day that I have stashed in my room and I allow myself to eat one chocolate, nougat-y morsel a day. But if you know me, you know that I have an insatiable appetite. I mean I am downright glutonous. And one piece doesn't do me justice. Period. As for cheese, there is none. God I would KILLLLLL for cheese. Last night instead of rice we have homemade tortillas and it was glorious. They call it something else... ughh... I'm not going to destroy their language by trying to remember. One day I will learn. But anyway, I was trying to explain Chipotle and they lost me at salsa. But got does a quesadilla sound good. Or a grilled cheese. Or velveeta. Mmmm. I don't even miss ice cream. I don't even really like dairy (except Chocolate Milk). But if anyone sends me a big fat hershey bar covered in melted Gouda I will love you for all time. Seriously. Everyone else will be out of the running in the competition for my heart. If you send James Franco to deliver that hershey bar, well, only God could produce such a miracle, I suppose.
Yesterday Jasmin and I talked about boys for like, 2 hours. And it's funny how different her view is than say, my little sister's. First, I found out that her parents were in an arranged marriage, as are most parents. The wole boyfriend/girlfriend love thing is really unique to her generation and still sort of rare. And I asked her what she would prefer and she said she would go either way. Especially since her parents would have to approve of the boy and she would introduce him and get their OK from Day 1 or else it was a closed case and he was out. I'm sorry parental units, you are not choosing the boy I marry. As much as I know you would like me to be Mrs. Duncan (or Darwin, or whatever), mother. But regardless, she is glad she goes to an all girls school because she doesn't like talking to boys. And she can onlly think of one time she thought a boy was cute and she can't even really remember him. Then I told her about bus boys and sexy men and frat boys and hockey boys and she quite enjoyed it. She said I would probably have no luck here, and I seconded that motion. Ohhh goodness, I think the saying I'm looking for is "pray for hotties." Haha.
Things are going pretty good, I am trying to plan a trip to Chitwan National Park in early November (specifically so that I am in a hotel with good TV reception on November 5th) so that I can see some elephants and cheetahs. That is what Binod says, "the elephaaaaants and cheeeetahs!!"
Speaking of the election, this is apparently an Obama house. They don't know tons about the candidates but Priyanka and Mrs. Shahi like to parade around the house chanting "Oh-bah-ma. Berrak Oh-bah-ma." I think they were in a little bit of shock when I informed them that he wasn't actually president yet, he still has to win an election.
So I will leave you with one final thought, courtesy of Binod:
An American and Indian and a Nepali come across a river. The American throws his hat in the river and the Indian says, "Why did you throw your hate in the river?" The American replies, "Because in America we have lots of hats." The Indian then proceeds to throw his shawl in the river and the Nepali asks, "Why did you throw your shawl in the river?" The Indian replies "because in India, we have lots of shawls." The Nepali shrugs, looks at the Indian and tosses him into the river.
Peace, Love, and Velveeta. xox.

Giving in...

I have to admit, I gave in to my need for first world civilization. I'm sitting in the lobby of a fancy 5-star hotel eating cake that I bribed Jasmin with to come here. I needed wifi so I could upload pictures. And I've done it! Well, the comprehensive album of pictures is on Facebook because a girl can only upload so many times! But I really haven't done much with my life in the last few days. I'm currently reading The Stand by Stephen King. It's a great book, but it was a terrible idea to read it right now. For those of you who are unfamiliar, it's about a superflu that kills off the entire population. The few who survive then move to Boulder (for the good) and Las Vegas (for the bad) and then good and evil duke it out. Reading about everyone you love dying right after you leave everyone you love is bad. Reading about the survivors going to your hometown and loving it is worse. Every time they describe the flatirons or Pearl Street or Mapleton Hill (where Mother Abigail, aka Jesus, live, naturally) I want to cry. Good thing I can look out my window and see the himalayas. Ok, so it's not SOOO bad.
Love you all!
xox

The Electric Nepal Acid Test

I wish I could think of a word that could accurately describe my day, but so far every word I have considered I have subsequently dismissed as inadequate.
The short version was that we went to visit the school I will be working with. It's about an hour's bus ride away in Dhading. It was decided that I will trek out there every Monday to teach English to the 3rd, 4th and 5th graders and then teach computer classes in the afternoons. Then I will spend Friday mornings in Dhading helping the teachers with their own English skills. After all this was decided, we headed home. The End.
But the real kicker comes from our journey on the bus. Unlike the Micro Buses of Kathmandu, the buses that take you out to Dhading are larger and reminiscent of Ken Kesey and his merry pranksters. There is one main highway that runs through Nepal, from Kathmandu to Delhi and everywhere in between. The buses that run on this road don't run on a time table or an itinerary; they just run. In order to catch one of these buses, you simply stand by the side of the road and signal when one drives by. Then you hope it slows down enough for you to jump in. Think NYC taxi meets ski slope quad-lift.
We caught a bus fairly easily on our way there. The ride however... well, to all the people that have ridden on I70 through Silverthorne during a blizzard with me behind the wheel, I am SO sorry. I now understand your pain and I sympathize with all who have chastised me for my careless and reckless driving habits. But seriously, this was SO much worse. We were careening down hills at 50 mph, passing trucks around blind curves with oncoming traffic. In the words of Ferris Bueller, after this ride I was so uptight you could have shoved a piece of coal up my ass and by the end you would have had one helluva diamond.
I do recall about 3 seconds of solace when I realized that this far outside the city, the sky was clear enough to see t white peaks of the Himalayas in the distance.
The peace was broken when I looked up to find our bus inches from flying off the side of the mountain while being simultaneously t-boned by a 1980 Toyota hatchback and passed on the right by a truck with "ride me" painted across the bumper. Since I am supposed to ride this bus twice a week for the next, ohhhh... 21 weeks, I would like say here and now that I never said "I love you" enough to Anita, and therefore when I die she gets everything. Except the IRS debt. Dad, you can keep that.
The ride home was a completely polar experience. Our driver was Filipino Bono in the flesh, and inside our bus was (and I swear I am not embellishing for the sake of storytelling): 3 Bob Marley stickers, 1 asian with dreadlocks, 2100 eggs divided into 12 cartons (I counted), 3 goats, 2 playboy tattoos, and the most AMAZING Canadian tuxedo that I have EVER seen.
I will never forget that bus ride.
Cheers to the next 84 rides I have left to weather.

Breakfast

So I told the kids about the infamous Pancake Challenge last night. I woke this morning to find that we were having rice pancakes for breakfast. Everyone gathered around me as I ate them and they were all terribly disappointed when I could only manage three. They were good though, I mean goooooooood.
:)

Heading back a few centuries

So yesterday when we were going up to the temple, we had to walk through a bunch of little villages that were all right next to each other but they seemed really far apart. Everyone walks here (unless they drive those damn 2-wheel death mobiles some call Vespas) so things that seem ridiculously close are in essence, quite far away. For example, I am staying in Naya Naikap which is technically not Kathmandu. But it's about as far away from Kathmandu as Wash Park is from LoDo. You just can't walk there, you have to take the bus. And heading up to this temple, we walked through so many towns that were all right next to eachother... maybe 100 feet apart, yet they were completely separated. It's like driving to Steamboat and driving through all those little mountain towns... but you are walking.
And as we were walking we came across so many people going about there daily business, and I was thinking that I feel like I stepped back into Medieval times. People were showering right in the street, using buckets of water that they just dunked their head in. I saw a young man loading stones into a bag that rested on an older man's head (it made my back hurt just watching) and then the old man walked a few feet and rested the stones at the foot of a building that was "under construction." Made from the stones pulled straight out of the ground a few feet away.
Another thing I always notice is at night, once it goes completely dark, how few lights there are in the city. You see the stream of headlights off in the chaotic distance, but everything in between is dark. Judging simply from the lights glowing in windows late at night, you would expect this area to be as sparsely populated as Alma, Colorado.
Right behind our house is an old building made from old bricks and mortar. I was watching it yesterday, looking at its inhabitants going about their daily life on the roof of the building. Min came up and told me that this building was the home of the native people of this town. There was a whole village within those rooms, each family having only one or two rooms and the rest of their lives conducted on the roof. They shower there, grow their chickens their, organize wheat there. Everything they need, within the space of a few feet. Seems far more applaudable than the self-sustaining environment of Freshman Dorms, eh?

In the Jungle, The Mighty Jungle....

So yesterday we went a few km into the hills and visited a Buddhist temple. Very cool. It was so colorful and clean and quiet... basically the complete opposite of the usual around here. The hike wasn't too bad, it reminded me a lot of hiking the flatirons. I could not believe how big the spiders were. We are at like 6,600 ft. They must be some freaking strong suckers. After we went to the temple we had a picnic that the wild cows were determined to confinscate from us. I also adopted a Buddhist dog. He, obviously, liked to have his belly rubbed.
The hike home was highly amusing because Binod, Min's son, insisted we sing. He knows more english songs than I do. Seriously. We finally settled on In The Jungle (I do a meeeean "Oh-wee-ma-way").
I showed Jasmin (the 17yr old) pictures of CU and I think I will make a buff out of her yet. Min asked me if I knew about how to get loans and scholarships for international students that want to attend CU, and I basically freaked out. We are going in to town later to an internet cafe so I can print off all the forms and get her a TOEFL book. I'll download all my pictures while I'm there, too. I've got zillions.
So electricity comes from solar-panels and when its cloudy out they don't work. So last night we did dinner by candle light, it was increeeeedibly romantic. Then I busted out some flashlights and we played flashlight tag. The night ended with Binod telling me racist Nepali jokes (the kind that start with "So there's an Indian, a Jap and a Nepali...") To be hoenst, I didn't get a single punch line. He is a really sharp little cookie. A pain, but a sharp little cookie.
I also got a run down of the situation with the schools that the ECC (the NGO) is working with and the problems they are facing. Today, I'm heading over to the school that I will be working directly with so I can see what is going on and talk to the principal, etc.
I had a dream last night that Kelly and Patrick got married at the top of Everest and Will insisted we ski to it. Then everyone died trying.
xox

The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Champion has met his match

I have never seen anyone eat like Min's 7 yr old son. I tried to actually watch him from start to finish at dinner last night, but I couldn't resist the urge to blink and I missed the large majority of it. While I am busy dropping rice in my lap and spilling soup on the left ankle of my jeans (I have no idea how it got there), he is busy perfecting the art of silver polishing by INHALING his meal. And when he is done .7 seconds later, he just sits and watches the rest of us eat with this shit-eating grin on his face. Ridiculous.
I have to go now because the daughters are up and they want to have another Dance Party. I exposed them to the magic of Journey yesterday-I have officially sealed my fate.

What am I DOING here??

Where to begin...
First of all, pictures will have to come later because I am on a dial-up connection and there is not way I have the patience to upload pictures just yet. Especially seeing as I have taken a million and there is no way I can choose just one or two.
The first thing that I have to say is landing in the Kathmandu airport was like landing smack dab in the middle of the mountains. Picture landing a Boeing 777 at the Eagle Airport. Insanity. The mountains are so beautiful and completely different than the ones we have back in Colorado. The sky is really hazy and the pollution is really bad, but tonight while I was sitting at the dinner table I realized that behind the sillouhette of the near mountains were huge white peaks that I'd never seen before. It was awesome.
In terms of living, right now I'm at the chairman's house. Min and his family are fantastic. When I got here his youngest daughter, Priyanka, gave me a card that I'll post pictures of later. His oldest daughter, Jasmine, is 17 and she reminds me of Lu so much. She just gives these looks that crack me up.
The city is insanity. The traffic is so freaking scary. We took the bus into town today and I don't understand how the transportation works at all. The busses are basically those big VW busses but with like 4 rows and 50 people jammed in. On our way back from the market today I sat in a row with 5 other people. That is 6 people sitting side by side in something a little bigger than a Chrystler Town and Country. It smelled worse than the old Pi Kapp the morning after masters. For those of you that don't know what that was like, picture awful and take it up 3 notches.
I wish I had a funny little vignette to tell you but honestly I am too overwhelmed to be witty right now. I'm just trying to get my head on straight. The most common thought I've had thus far is "What am I DOOOOOOOING here?" Thus far, I remain answerless. I'll let you know when the epiphany strikes and I know...
The best way to sum it all up is different. So different. The people are very sweet, I just wish I spoke Nepali so I could actually communicate beyond a few words. I gotta find some English-speaking friends ASAP or I am going to get soooo lonely. What am I doing here?
Tomorrow we are going up to a Buddhist temple and I think it'll be really cool. It's about 3 miles away and we trek there on foot so I'll get some sweet pictures. Again, no garuntees as to when I'll feel like putting them up... after that we go see the school I'm going to be working at and then off to Pokhara. Turns out I'm here just in time to JAZZmandu, the greatest Jazz party in the Himalyas! so maybe I'll get to rock out with some nice yazz-flute. I'll let you know...
Miss everyone so so much.
Love from the Himalayas

Soooo Close

I'm sitting in the Seoul Airport watching the sun rise outside. This airport is pretty cool. I found a nice spot to camp out right by the cafe so when it opens I can be the first in line for some pudding. The flight over here wasn't too bad. As some people know, I like to tell really ridiculous stories to people I sit next to on airplanes. Generally, those stories hold no truth whatsoever. It's really my favorite part of flying. Unfortunately, I took an ambien the second I got on the plane and when I woke up the neighbor was fast asleep. The only words I got to say to her were "Sorry, I have to pee" and "Would you like my leftover pineapple jelly candy?" She seemed nice enough, too bad I didn't get to tell her about my husband who died in the New Finland Tsunami of '06, Kelly I know you are disappointed.
So that's really all I have to say. I've made it to the right continent, which is no small feat. See you in K-K-K-Kathmanduuuu.

Sitting at the gate thinking thoughts....

So this is random but ya know how it is... I'm sitting at my gate at DIA. And I'm feeling a little freaked out. Not a lot. Just a little. It's weird because I am flying through LAX and I can't even count how many times I have sat in front of a gate that said "Los Angeles." I feel stupid being all weird and freaked out in front of a gate that says "Los Angeles" because it seems like everyone sitting around me probably is JUST going to Los Angeles just as I have done a million times and they are probably thinking that I am JUST going to Los Angeles and I must have killed a man or something and that is why I am so freaked out... I mean I do still have the Swiss Army Knife that Katie gave me on my way here. Security missed it. They took my damn hand sanitizer and left my swiss army knife. So stupid.
But anyway, I suppose I could kill some one if I wanted to, since I have a knife and all. But that totally was not even my original point.
My point was that I dislike feeling weird in front of a gate going to LA. It should really say "Los Angeles-for everyone except for Alicia who is going much further away and that is why she looks like she is going to puke so stop judging her." The old dude across from me is totally judging. And the little gay man next to me is eating McDonalds and it smells delicious.
I am going to miss McDonald's. Not much, but a little. I love the smell of salty Mickey D's fries right after a hangover.... hello Hotties getting off the plane from LA that I will soon be boarding, heh, easily distracted... anyway, it's weird to think that I will miss smells from the States. I'm sure there will be so many new smells there. I feel like smell is something you really can't guess ahead of time, like you have to smell it to know. Ya know?
Speaking of hotties and smells....
(Laura and the rest of you Taj pervs, you may think you knew where I am going with this but you DON'T!)
Isn't it funny how men smell all rugged and Old Spice-y here, like woodsmen or something, when they are soo not rugged? Don't get me wrong, I love it. But I mean, I was trying to think about how men will smell in Nepal and I don't think they will smell like Old Spice. Yet if anyone is outdoorsy and rugged, its the Nepalese farmers working in their fields, right? Not our guys in their seven jeans and rebook kicks rockin' Hugo Boss eau de parfum.
Aaaahhh men and their wooded, spicy cologne...Just one more piece of an overly image-oriented branded America.

Wow... it's totally time to board my flight. What a good distraction....
Hasta la Vista!

Dirty Details

Courtesy of the CIA World Fact Book

• Population: 29, 519, 114
• Religion: 80.6% Hindu, 10.7% Buddhist, 4.2% Muslim, 3.6% Kirant, .9% Other )The only official Hindu state in the world)
• Language: 47.8 % Nepali, English spoken in business and government
• Literacy: 48.6% Total Population, 62.7% male 34.9% female
• School Life Expectancy: 10 years (males) 8 years (females)
• Unemployment Rate: 42%
• Population below poverty line: 30.9%
• Agriculture: Rice, corn, wheat, sugarcane, milk, water buffalo meat
• Industries: Tourism, carpets, textiles, small rice and sugar mills, cigarette production 

Also, FYI

The time change is 11 hour and 45 minutes (from MST)

So right now it is 9:57PM on Monday in Denver, it is 9:43AM on Tuesday in Kathmandu.

Remember that when you call me. Oh ya, I won't have a phone. Suckers. 

T-Minus 20 Hours

Sooo I leave in less than a day so I figured I should get this up and running... I hope everyone likes reading blogs because I am far and away too lazy to write everyone emails. I'm thinking I'll try to get into town to post once a week, but you should check religiously (read: more than Perez) because I hate feeling like I am doing this for nothing. Except if I do find out that no one is reading this, then I might start writing complete garbledy-gook and really inappropriate things for the hell of it, could be entertaining... but I don't want to give anyone incentive not to read, so don't not read and wait around for the garbeldy-gook...

Anyway, for everyone that doesn't even know the basic 4-1-1, I am going to Nepal tomorrow to teach english for an NGO called "Education Concern Center, Nepal." I am going to be teaching primary schoolers, so they will, in fact, have minds young enough to be molded, shaped, and, alas, corrupted, by yours truly. 

I am going to be living right outside the capital, Kathmandu, I'll let y'all know about the living conditions post-arrival. At this exact moment I am as clueless about my living conditions as those of you who know me would expect me to be. 

I'm pretty stoked. And maybe a little nervous. Especially about missing Gossip Girl and 90210. But somehow I think I'll be able to overcome my GG withdrawls (Katie-can I get some methadone for that?) and enjoy the experience. 

Watch out Nepal,I'll see you in exactly 46 hours and 11 minutes... just realized how long the darn plane ride is. ugh.